Sunday, October 17, 2010
Are you the One?
"Don't put all of your eggs in one basket"
That's the advice I've been given over the years regarding men and relationships. The logic behind this advice is that you'd be foolish investing your time in one person, when you have no idea whether or not they're worth it. When he f*cks up, then you will have backup and never have to deal with his B.S. Basically, you're using "multiple eggs in one basket" as a preemptive strike to ease the pain of getting hurt or to avoid the pain all together. Ultimately, you eventually hope to find "The One" and u can drop all but one egg, and live in Hollywood romantic bliss!
Back to Reality
Can this pain really be avoided? I've tried the multiple men at one time thing, and, regardless of how many men I was dealing with it still hurt when dude #1 stopped calling and I begrudgingly called dude #2 just to have something to do. It also didn't feel so good when I dated one guy, and knew he didn't call me that night because Wednesdays were reserved for "Stacey".
The question I've always asked myself was, does dating more than one person at a time just dilute your interest in all of them and end up making NONE of them special? how can you really be sure if you like someone wholeheartedly, if you're only investing minimal energy in them? Example:
Jason meets Girl # 1 first, who is beautiful, intelligent, and fun. He dates her for a week, likes her, but wants to take it slow. Next, Jason runs into Girl # 2 who has the same qualities as #1, but has "something" about her that supposedly makes her stand out. Eventually, Jason starts calling girl #1 less and doesn't take her out as much. All the while he is taking Girl #2 to the Opera, his mom's house, and the backseat of his jeep. Girl #1 is eventually supposed to take the hint that Jason is not that into her, while he and Girl #2 are moving in to their new apt.
Now, did Jason really "find the one", or did he just CHOOSE who the one was for him was based on the amount of energy he put into her? could he have had the same outcome with Girl # 1 if he took her to the opera too, and never even gave Girl #2 the time of day? what, then, happens to all the Girl # 1's who are lead to believe the guy was interested, then left by the wayside without any explanation?
Is the notion of "The One" just a Hollywood myth or does it have more to do with choices than fate?