The phone rings at 2 am. You're wondering who's calling you at such a late hour, and then one of your closest friend's names pops up on the screen. You answer praying that she's okay, when she tells you she just found (insert boo's name here) chatting it up with his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and its all over his page!
We've all heard stories like these before. Some unsavory behavior is discovered on Facebook after you or a friend went through tagged photos, wall-to-wall comments, picture comments and friends of friends pages, until you find something--that "a-ha! I knew it!" moment that you will confront your S/O about when he/she gets home.
But does all this Facebook spying relieve relationship anxiety or worsen it?
I was discussing this same issue with one of my good friends recently. Her argument was that if you have a gut feeling that your man is doing something you don't like, then its okay to snoop on him. My argument was that if he gives you a bad feeling, it doesn't matter whether you have spied or not, you already lost your trust. If you spy, find something you don't like, but stay in the relationship then why does it even matter. It only really matters if you leave or change the boundaries of the relationship.
If you are the type that MUST know everything in order to feel sane, then doesn't that mean you cannot trust your partner? Trust implies that you don't need evidence that your man is doing the right thing, you already assume he is.
So then what happens to those who trust their partner but have Facebook proof that they shouldn't be so trusting? Say, for instance, you have an issue with your boyfriend drinking, but then find an incriminating Facebook photo of him at a party with an empty shot glass in front of him and eyes that look foggy and glazed over.
If he was indeed drinking, do you leave him or give him a reprimand and stay with him?
Do you even confront him about the photo and just trust that he wasn't drinking and assume that it was someone else's drink in front of him?
Are you guilty of Facebook Spying?